Self-love really should not be this complicated. The sad thing is that most people do not even realise that they are not loving themselves in the way that they need. Societal conditioning, upbringing and burnout have all contributed to us moving through life in a zombie state just trying to keep it all together.
When I first started on my self-love journey I had no clue what I was supposed to do. I felt generally awful and one of the first things I was shoved into during my forced spiritual awakening was to learn to love myself.
I had no clue where to start...
I ran myself a bath - yes I was squeaky clean but I still felt rubbish inside. I got my nails done - still felt nothing but doom and gloom. I took myself to a trip to the cinema alone to watch a film I chose (for once!) - I still felt miserable once I got home. I tried to do things I was supposed to enjoy to show myself that I loved myself - but nothing worked. I considered Anti-Depressants.
It wasn't until I stumbled across a self-therapy workbook and I started to look at myself on the inside did I start to understand what self-love was really all about. It was less about doing or buying things for yourself, and more about giving yourself the time, space and permission to understand and feel what was going on within yourself.
A lot of us believe that we need to do and give things in order to show ourselves and others love. Yes this is fine and of course a natural part of giving and receiving love but it is the icing on the cake only, not the cake. The cake is the full, unconditional acceptance, validation, support and compassion for yourself - all parts of yourself.
Self-love begins in the mind and heart. These tips helped me start to learn how to love myself :
1. Getting to the root cause of what had upset me. Usually it wasn't the situation at hand - often the cause was a part of myself I had rejected in the past as a trauma response. The present upsetting situation was just a trigger prodding me to look deeper. Journalling and shadow work helped me tremendously.
2. Differentiating between my acquired strengths (usually things like achievements/careers etc) and my natural innate strengths and talents (e.g. my kindness, softness, sense of humour, energy, etc). I eventually switched my mindset to value myself on my natural strengths that form part of me rather than allow my self-worth based to be on my achievements.
3. Allowing myself to feel all my emotions fully. I validated and accepted emotions as a normal and healthy part of being human rather than as being a sign that things were going wrong because my emotions were running sky high.
4. Allocating special sacred "me-time" on a DAILY basis. I used this time to learn more about myself, what I liked, disliked, my hobbies, my dreams, my past traumas, meditations. Whatever I felt like. It was my time and I could do whatever I wanted in this time.
I hope this has helped you and inspired you on your own self-love journey. Remember we are all made of light and dark and it is only by loving and accepting all parts of ourselves that we can truly find inner peace and joy.
Would love to hear your comments
Until next time
So much love and light to you all
Areej
#selflove #spirituality #healing #therapy #meditation #meditation
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